The Continual Pursuit Of Goals
Do we actually know when we need more? Can we expertly balance goal setting and ‘enough’?
I set some loose goals for the gym this year, on a random day in February. They weren’t SMART, I just had a feeling about some things I wanted to achieve, and I recently realised I’d hit some of them without much further thought. I started thinking about other areas of my life and realised that I’ve achieved some goals in work this year as well. A slice of the pie that had taken a back-seat for some time. This snowballed into thinking about how I might achieve my next goals, if I want to set any more at the moment and some life plans that I’d, perhaps, like to make.
I think there are unavoidable questions to ask yourself in order to live intentionally, that inescapably lead to goal setting — What do I want to prioritise? How might I want my life to look in the next couple of years? Otherwise, life will choose for you. But this does make me feel, sometimes, like I’m still in an unavoidable pursuit of more, whilst deeply wanting to tread carefully and make sure that my life isn’t always about what’s next. I truly believe that the grass isn’t greener on the other side, so how can I balance the right amount of goal setting and contentment?
The kind of questions I started asking myself were
How much money do I want to earn and what for?
What will I be happy with and without in my life?
Do I need to change anything, or not much? For now, or for how long?
Do I need to keep setting small goals that align with my values?
Do I need more goals at the moment, at all?
Of course, there have been times when I’ve questioned these things before, as well as times when I haven’t wanted or needed to think too far ahead. I know I haven’t always been in pursuit of the shiny corporate career, or the impressive things you might be imagining when I talk about the pursuit of more. But does that mean I still haven’t been on an adjacent treadmill of my own design? The pursuit of more doesn’t always manifest itself in material things, in money, in cars, in bigger houses and promotions. It could be in achievements like fitness goals, collecting experiences by ticking countries off a travel list, or in unrelenting personal growth; more wellness events, more courses or qualifications, more introspection. I think, I need to be more aware of this so that I’m not using any kind of goals to escape my inner world in some way or, still, to achieve some kind of unattainable end.
Perhaps, it’s easy to go from always wanting more, to wanting nothing or very little. Probably to try to quickly antidote an unhealthy way of living. We recognise that constantly chasing after goals doesn’t make us happy, or satisfied, or feel complete, or stop us questioning — ‘What now?’ — So, does that mean we should stop chasing after anything? I’ve found it much more complex coming out the other side of an unconscious quest for more and trying to prioritise real desires, with real reasons for them. Not just something else, but the right thing. I’m still figuring this out day by day and choice by choice.
Perhaps, with goals, it’s all in the reason — ‘Why now?’ as well as ‘Why this?’ — repetitively asking yourself why until there aren’t any more avenues to go down. Or, maybe it’s not enough to ask why, maybe we also need to ask if more is worth the sacrifice or the cost.
For some time, I’ve been trying to remember to focus on the little things, in everyday life. Whatever I spend most of my time doing. Seemingly low stakes decisions end up being the most all-consuming when it comes to making a life. Are these essentially goals too?
Can I increase or decrease my work hours?
Should I say something to someone about how I’m feeling on this one occasion?
What am I going to eat this week?
How often do I want to say yes to events?
How much time can I spend on writing today?
Do we need to make sure all of our choices align, not only with our values, but firstly with our goals? Or is there a more intuitive way to live? I used intuition to know that I wanted to set those goals in February and not in the new year.
Is whether I need more, simply, only something I can define at any given time?
I remember when I started untangling my beliefs about the pursuit of more and the trajectory I thought I was supposed to be on, earlier in my twenties. All I wanted was contentment. I think I really meant that I wanted to be content with myself. And I think I’m a hell of a lot closer to this now, which lead me to feel this need to reassess. What do I need now? What do I want? To continue to live with the intention that I promised myself I would? Does intention always include goals? Are these small goals always linked to one ultimate goal?
Happiness as the thing to strive for is being increasingly disputed. I think this was also one of the reasons I turned to contentment, and now I wonder if it was a healthy alternative? Is there one? Should we be in pursuit of something all of the time? Was my pursuit of contentment because I wanted to feel as little inner turmoil as possible? And was this just a way to escape the uncomfortable? Am I back to pursuing growth again to antidote this, constantly needing to get out of a self-defined comfort zone? Have I, now, swapped the ‘rat race’ and ‘climbing the ladder’ for a track race of continually circling around comfort and challenge? Is this something we can and should keep doing for the long haul?
No answers here, just way too many questions.
Do you feel like you’ve got the balance right — between striving for things and enjoying where you are?
You’ve nailed it again! It’s so easy to turn anything into a manic race to the top, even self development. I love that concept of Lagom (thank you Mmerikani) This is something that’s also been on my mind lately. What is enough?
This was great timing for me Jess as I tend to sit and think of goals for the month ahead. I used to get disheartened when I didn't hit a goal, but I've learnt over time not to be so hard on myself. We are only human after all. A great read as always :)